This is the testimony of Robert Tunstall, Our dear Mary's Husband, a beautiful and spiritual way to see kindness and compassion even in the darkest ends of this world!
I'm Just A Barber!!
As the Barber for the "HOSPICE" Program at California Medical Facility in Vacaville, CA. I'm like:The "BARTENDER".... I get to hear all the stories about
The wives, girlfriends, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, and friends etc.
I do not just cut hair and shave those men in Hospice, but in G-1, G-2 and G-3 hospitals. With a New addition of housing unit H-1, which is our Out-patient Housing Unit. I'm the only Barber for those hospitals and Out-Patient housing units. I treat each person the same. I have to be open to each of the many religious beliefs and being able to express my beliefs also without insulting their belief's....
It is easy for me to relate to these men about their loved ones. My wife Mary and me have been together 29 years and married for 27 years out of the 30 years I have been in prison... Mary is just not my wife... Mary is my "BESTEST FRIEND" in the entire world... My dad has been with me for the whole 30 years... Dad is more my friend than Dad. We love fast cars (CHEVY'S) and Motorcycles... Dad likes his Honda's and I love Harley Davisson... (Look up correct spelling for Harley Davidson, I'm brain locked). My son Michael has been such a joy to us both... Our grandson Michael is the greatest kid... So I can relate...
As the Barber, I have to insure that I prevent Cross Contamination. So I use a Barbercide that prevents that. I must also watch out for any skin rashes on the scalp or cradle rot and lesions on the face or scalp. If there are any, I than report it to the Registered Nurse.
I have a Radio/CD player that I take with me and depending on where I'm cutting hair that day I play music for them. I used to take my own CD's with me, but I think they are becoming bored with them. Robert can you put the radio on a station for us??
What makes things easier for me to understand their ÂDYING OR LONG TERM CONDITION". Is that I had a brain tumor that created problems for me that took three years for me to recover from and I still ended up with short term memory loss and a chronic seizure disorder. AM I JUST A BARBER?
I have had five (5) "FRIENDS" die here that I have known in the 30 years I have been in prison. Each one took a part of me with them when they died....
Can you imagine dying alone? Those of us as "PASTORAL CARE SERVICE WORKERS AND VOLUNTEERS" do not let these men "DIE ALONE"!!
When we have a man that is placed on "VIGIL" (Which means that he has but, a few minutes to a few days to live). We are with that man 24 hours a day, 7 days a week till his passing... We do not leave him...
I was holding the hand of one of the men one time when he asked me to pray for him and so I did. When I looked up at him I watched him take his last breathe...
I have never got over seeing my victim die... The horror is beyond what most people think... "NO" one "DESERVES" to die like they do...The horror of "DEATH" is everyone's nightmare...
I do not know how to explain how I feel about these men! Their love for Family and Friends... I have to keep all their secrets...Unless that secret is to do harm to them.
The men that are Dying or are Long Term Medical Conditions look forward to seeing us... We are there in Hospice 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to meet whatever their need is that we are able to meet. The men in G-1, G-2, G-3 and H-1, we are only able to be with them from 7 am to 9 pm. But we take the best of care of them as we are allowed to do. Some of us even do without in order to meet the needs of some of these men.
The Hospice Program is allowed to give TV's, and Radio's to the men in all the areas we cover. We are in need of as many as we can get. We just do not have enough to go around. The men need us to sit and listen to what is on their minds. To write letters for them. It is easy for me to listen to what they are saying. Most of the men look forward to meeting "GOD", but yet with some fear... Part of my job is to assure these men that as long as they repent of their sins that all will be okay and that "GOD" will be waiting for them with open arms...
Most of the men concerns are not just how they let their family down but, how do they make up for their victims. No matter what we have done in life there are victims. My only answer to them I can give, is "GOD" will take care of it... I fight back the tears when these men are weeping like little children, because I know how they feel... These men need someone to express their feelings about their loved ones, victims or how there is no cure for what they have or their fears of dying...
I am a Barber that does the best that he can do to bring what comfort he can bring. Every time one of these men dies, I die and every time I see my victim die...
We bathe these men...We change their diapers... I have seen some of the most hideous deaths. Cancers, Aids, Hepatitis-C. I had one man tell me that this is what he did to his victim...
Tuesday's at 1:00 pm I play Bingo with the guys (well I used to, but we ran out of donations). They win bags of candy, some with toothpaste, deodorants, razors, combs etc. and I had to tell the guys last week that this was the last game. We ran out of everything that has been donated... The look on their faces was heart breaking...
As Hospice workers and volunteers, we are their release to their deepest fears...
I'm just the Barber... Thank you from my heart to your heart for all that you have done...
"PLEASE DON'T STOP HELPING...
In his hands and Care
Robert Tunstall
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Hello everybody, this is from Jason Metzger, in his letter from 5-14-06
I grew up in a small town in Norco, California. I guess as a child I was a people person and a lot of people liked me .I worked horses and would catch and sell just about every farm animal anyone would give me. I love animals and the outdoors a lot. When I was young I never got in real and serious trouble till I started running away from home .I did run away to the rivers in Norco, most of the time with my dog and Horse. Then a few days later my Mom and dad would come and get me and take me home.
My serious problems did not really start till I ran away with two others kids and we stole three horses and ran to the river again. When the police finally caught me a week and a half later, I started using drugs and drinking and the courts put me in a placement I was supposed to be there six months. But I ran away again and went home. T his Happened three times before I finally when to C.Y.A. I think from this point on, my life has gone to hell. I say this because; I was introduced to many different forms of abuse. But I think what affected me the most was the racial abuse I received mostly by the counselors using others inmates/kids. Let me give you one example: One time a black kid took a new pair of pants from me and I went to the counselor to get help to get them back. Then, a few black counselors locked me in a cell unit with other black kids and made us fight to see who get to keep the pants. There were a lot of racially motivated situations like that .That caused me to be the person I am today. I don’t hate all races. But I won’t say that there are no races I hate. After getting out of C.Y.A, that experience changed me a lot. It has been about 15 years and when I remember, I still get upset a lot. I’ve in trouble a lot ever since that time, mostly nothing serious. But never once in all the times I been in trouble have there been any serious effort made or opportunity given to me to better my life through rehabilitation. Not even to this day. I am not a bad person. But I guess there room for improvement in everyone’
s life, when they end up here. But who in society cares? At this point in my life, I ‘m trying to figure out if I even care anymore? I think I do. But I feel like the CDC wants to keep me as a number to keep them in getting paid. I am here now for receiving stolen property. It was listed as a felony, when it should have never been. My ex girlfriend put junk she stole at a gas station in the back of my truck. She pleaded guilty to Felony commercial burglary and got 30 days, in 26 days, she went home. I got charge with felony receiving stolen Property. I plead not guilty. But somehow was found guilty and got 5 years at 80%.I had no part in this ,I was trying to get my life together, Then, in one night, all of this happened, my truck ,my tools and my clothes were taken from me, and I have been placed in Prison. After doing almost five years for something I had no part in, This State is going to give me $200.00 and send me out to society to start my life once again after they have taken everything I had away. What a joke. This state, this society would have shown me more mercy if they have just killed me. I feel like the only thing CDC/society hasn’t done is killing me and after what they have put me through, I am not scared. There is no rehabilitation,, education, or vocation, or anything here except 23 hours a day in an 8X12 cell. The perfect breeding ground for hate and animosity. We can’t even find humanity in others –animals’ society is creating in us. We are locked up and abused for years as society approves of through the actions of the CDC in countless ways. In here is a struggle everyday to just keep my sanity in all this insanity, in all this inhumanity. But at least, I’m one of the very few who are trying. Family and friends mean a lot to me. This is the American Society; I feel this is something no longer I want to be proud of.
If you want to write to Jason Metzger, please feel free to send an e-mail to talking2thewallz@yahooo.com .If you want him to answer you back, please post your address on the same e-mail..
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